tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795191973728869942.post90133843078222158..comments2023-02-17T17:13:57.768-08:00Comments on Schizophrenia And Art: Feeling Good, Feeling CrazyKaren May Sorensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14436905322393073250noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4795191973728869942.post-53034649581302073812012-05-03T14:55:05.609-07:002012-05-03T14:55:05.609-07:00Dear Karen,
I'm sorry your painting got scrat...Dear Karen,<br /><br />I'm sorry your painting got scratched at the framers, but I'm glad that you could fix it and that the frame really sets it off. I hope whoever you are giving The Gift to that they appreciate it and you. <br /><br />I think it is a fantastic change that you no longer have suicidal thoughts. It's strange to me to think that more medications can increase them, but then I am on a high dose of Abilify and I'm pretty sure my problems with anxiety began around the time I began taking it several years ago. So now, instead of reducing the meds, I've increased an anti-anxiety med, Buspirone, which is not addictive and doesn't interfere with the other drugs I am taking. But you also say you worry a lot, which is also anxiety. I have had the same experience with worry, that usually I worry about stupid, small things and usually it works out fine. Congratulations on dealing well with your flat tire. In time you may be able to talk yourself out of worry. I find I can do that on occasion. <br /><br />You say that you are sleeping less each night. My sleep cycles seem to shift even on the medications. Lately I've been staying up till 3:30 am. I'm keeping an eye on it. It might have to do with drinking coffee to ward off depression, but I don't do that every day. <br /><br />I wish you could have an artist friend in your town, too! Have you ever thought of taking an art class? I know you've taken writing classes, but drawing and painting classes are quite a different experience. In some places there are gatherings with a nude model and everyone contributes $5 or so to pay the model, so it's very relaxed. I miss going to open sketch classes like that. What fun to see all the styles that get drawn from the one model in one position! It's very meditative. At first it's like going to that coffee house with a book and soaking up being around people, but there's more room to get to know others in a sketch class because everyone's work is out and open to view. By the way, I think it is great that you've been going to that coffee shop. I do that once in a while around here. Maybe I should try it again? <br /><br />The flip flopping heaven or hell thing sounds like the essence of a mood disorder, so this must not be so strange except maybe the heaven part has gotten a bit sweeter on less medication? I sink into depression and anxiety, but it never gets as bad a hell. And I have my good days and sometimes that comes close to Nirvana. Did you know that, according to the Buddha and Buddhist philosophy, Nirvana is always a part of the present moment even when you're in a hellish state? I think that's fascinating and that's the mystery of being alive, heaven and hell can be side by side, but it also implies that heaven is always within reach, if you can detach from your ego orientation.<br /><br />I think most of us take ourselves seriously, which is why humor is so refreshing and healing. When I get too serious, I make myself smile and think of one of the Buddhist mind training slogans: "Always maintain only a joyful mind." Smiling really helps, though it feels awkward at first, but that shifts into relaxation. <br /><br />Good for you for keeping track of your symptoms and writing about it. I think you have to expect various changes as you readjust to less medication. All in all, you sound great. Less negative, more balanced. <br /><br />Love Kate : )Wandererhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16550316119497369344noreply@blogger.com