He Kissed My Hand!

Visit went well with therapist. It was really weird to see my husband in action with my therapist. My therapist got a mild shock when my husband said he's seen mentally ill people come on and off medication all the time and swing in their moods and behavior - I guess my therapist forgot that my husband really did work with the mentally ill as a health care provider. At first my therapist said "you mean you've seen Karen come off and on medication" and my husband corrected him. My husband told a little story about a person who didn't know that they were behaving differently off medication, but that it was clear to him that the fellow was quite a different man.

My therapist said that the main reason he wanted the visit was because I said I would lie to my medication provider and do whatever I wished with my medication. This worried him and made him think that I should have a new medication provider, one I trusted more and had better communication with. And my husband laughed and said, "I know Karen. She might go intending to lie, but once she was in the room, she would tell the truth. Karen is incapable of lying."

Do you know what a thrill it is for someone to have so much confidence in you? In your moral nature?

And then to top it off, my husband took my hand, kissed the back of it, and put it on his knee, covering it with his own hand.

Inside I was like, my God, he's so gallant! And he's saying to my therapist piss off, the lady is mine!

The therapist did not, for whatever reason, want a long visit. In further conversation my husband said that I was bold, a fact he realized when I was willing to leave my last abusive husband for him (not in my eyes a bold move, simple self preservation) and this lead to a discussion on divorce and lawyers, and my therapist was practically ready to leap out of his chair, he wanted the visit to terminate. But my husband said, "before we go, do you want to hear a good lawyer joke?" And then he told a funny joke I had not heard before and we all laughed. It seemed rather clear to me that the strongest personality in the room was my husband's. And he seemed too to be the healthiest of the lot of us.

On the way home I commented on my therapist' lack of interest in keeping us in the room. My husband's take was that it was painful for him to see us together. "He's probably a little in love with you" my husband said.

I think my therapist just wanted to go have lunch or meet up with some friends, it was a Saturday after all, and he wasn't planning on charging us for the visit, so he saw he was wasting his time. One, my husband was just as experienced and knowledgeable about medication changes as he was, and two my husband said I was incapable of lying to my medication provider! My husband characterized my medication provider as a cranky grandmotherly type.

Actually, I think he's right one thing. I couldn't lie to her, even if I said so. And in fact, I had steeled myself to tell her the truth a long while back, and it was in a moment of willful obstinacy that I threw out the idea about lying. Not something that is really memorable to me.

Painting again. Background grass which is really boring, but necessary. I should listen to music while I'm doing the boring bits. Just bought at Wal-Mart the best of the Rolling Stones and haven't opened it yet, am drooling to listen to it.

How come the Rolling Stone's music makes me feel like a sexy woman?